Thursday, August 14, 2008

Cheat on you? Never.

In an effort to have more material for this blog, I signed up for matchmaker.com. This morning I received a message from someone, but couldn't access it since I'm not a paid member. But I was able to look at the guy's profile. He is 60 and looks sort of like Hulk Hogan, but dirtier and more biker-ish. My favorite part about his profile is that he is looking for a girl 21-48, who weighs 121lbs to 146lbs, while 5'2" to 5'11". That's a 20 pound weight range and a 9 inch height range...hmm...And what's the deal with wanting girl that is anywhere between 39 and 12 years younger than he is? Does he think he's Hugh Hefner?

Here are some little gems from his profile:

"I was raised the old fashion way,to treat a lady as a lady with love an respect an never cheat on your partner.I like fishing,hunting,camping,bowling,
going to movies,quiet dinners,walking on the beach,taking long walks holding hands with my partner.Im looking for a lady who is not going to cheat on me and NO DRUGGIES,NO HEAD GAMES(Aint got no time for it).Staying at home with my partner cuddling an watching a good movie,then going to sleep wrapped in eachothers arms an waking up an kiss her good morning an saying I Love You."


I think it's pretty sad that he had to specifically write that he's looking for someone who won't cheat on him. Is some girl going to read this and think "oh, that's what I was planning on doing, I guess I won't message him." Doubtful.

On a side note, someday, when I when the lottery, I am going to start a non-profit whose aim is to teach people punctuation. People, you need to put spaces after commas and periods. I might add in a few lessons on run-on sentences as well.

4 comments:

Jaimi said...

I would donate to that organization. I totally would.

This was the most articulate sentence of all:

"Aint got no time for it"

Rawr!

Anonymous said...

Yes, he is a classy gent.

Anonymous said...

I love how he says "an" instead of "and". This guy is awesome, you should date him. You can go bowling an watch Larry the Cable Guy on tv.

PadresGirl said...

"The Hope Singleton School for People Who Can't Punctuate Good and Stuff." I'd be willing to volunteer at that school!