Thursday, August 7, 2008

A good sports car is hard to find...

Most of Hope's latest admirer's profile speaks for itself, but here's a translation of the trickier portions:

"I work out constantly. I obsess over being healthy and fit. I am goal oriented. I have singular focus and stalwart determination to get the things in life I want. I am 6’2”, brown hair, royal blue eyes and in great shape. I graduate from Cal, but was born and raised in New York City. I like to scuba dive, ski, mountain bike, and box, MMA or spar 3-4 times a week I also enjoy the outdoors, camping and traveling."

I have low self-esteem, so I pump iron and occasionally do other cool-sounding things to get big muscles so chicks at bars will notice me. The fact that I know the exact shade of my eyes should tell you that I will spend more time looking at myself in the mirror than you do. In fact, if we start dating, there will be some serious competition over the bathroom space. Also, I spend so much time in my extreme lifestyle that there will really be no time for you. You'll basically just be a g/f for show and to keep people from thinking I'm gay.

john typically spends his leisure time:

* Working out, MMA, skiing, boxing,traveling, i have traveled to over 60 countries, i love to cook and collect fine wines.

It's true that I've been to over 60 countries, but really I've only spend an average of 3 1/2 minutes in each one. Most of the countires that I've been to were spent entirely on the train when I traveled across Europe. Oh, and Hawaii is a separate country, right?

2 comments:

Jaimi said...

I had assumed he counted the countries he flew over too. Cause they count. Right?

Ed said...

Oh yes...an excellent point!