Thursday, August 14, 2008

Playing All of the Fields - Simultaneously

I am not sure about all of you, but when I am home and it is late and I am bored, I will scan through the Casual Encounters on craigslist. The comedic aspect alone is totally worth it. And then throw in potential nudity? How is that not top-notch entertainment?

This last Sunday night was such a night. And I am perusing the aforementioned personal ads, when I run across this:

"Pokher Knights/Dilligas tomorrow 08/01 - m4w - 30

Looking for someone to go to one of the above listed clubs tomorrow night, not necessarily looking for a hook-up just someone to go with, if we happen to hit it off and decide to participate in some of the clubs activities thats fine...although if we don't "gel" in that sense thats cool also.

Mostly I'm looking for someone to go with because I would rather not go by myself, it seems a little strange to me to show up that way. About me: 5'10"/blonde hair/blue eyes/170lbs in decent shape, no drugs and no diseases. I'm very laid back and don't believe in pressuring people to do things that are not comfortable with. I will pay the cover as well as buy a few drinks...not because I want in your pants but because I am a gentleman.

Write me if this sounds like a fun way to spend your Friday night. I'm attaching my picture here so please send yours as well, although it doesn't really matter since I am not looking for a hook-up just some simple adventurous company. "


Let's clear up a few confusions - these "clubs"? Are sex clubs! Where you go and watch and/or participate in sexual activities.

Now re-read the ad.

Wow.

But wait! There's more!

This fella is also a guy on Match! That's right people, he used the exact same pictures for this ad as he has on his Match profile. Which I have to say isn't bad, but he comes across as a bit bitter. For example:

"I’m not short mind you; I’m 5' 10 two inches away from your arbitrary height cut off…If online dating was like Disney World I’d be too short to ride on the rollercoaster of love.

Well that’s fine with me because while you are trying to defy gravity on the roller coaster ride, only to get off feel nauseous and talk to your girlfriends about what happened and why he didn’t call you and analyze why and if he likes you and blah blah blah… You COULD have been out with me drinking Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain, not being too into yoga, admiring my half a brain….etc. "

Now, he didn't state in his profile that he likes sex clubs. Hmmmm...

I wonder why.

5 comments:

Ed said...

Two thoughts:

1. I like the idea of going to a sex club on a first date. What a great way to spend a Friday night!!

2. Bitter Sex Club Boy is actually closer to 4" shorter than Hope's arbitrary height cut-off. Poor guy.

Anonymous said...

OMG that is hilarious and disgusting. Funny that this self described "gentleman" wants to go to a sex club with a stranger.

Ed said...

It just struck me that the name of one of those sex clubs is "Pokher Knights". How cool is that??

Jaimi said...

@Ed -
1. I know, huh? I SO want to date him!
2. Oddly enough Hope's arbitrary height cut-off works exactly opposite for me.
C. It is cool! I had to check the spelling (yes, there is a website)and that is how it is spelled.

@Hopeful - I am so glad I wasn't the only one to pick up on that.

PadresGirl said...

This Ed guy is pretty smart. In my experience, you should automatically subtract two inches and add 20 lbs to any guy's online dating profile. (I spent two years with someone who advertised themselves as 2-3" shorter than me (I'm almost 5'11"), and turned out to be 5'6."

And the "rollercoaster of love" comment...PRICELESS! If I sign back up for match/eharmony, I'm going to try to put that in my profile somewhere....